This week I give you a taste of delicious angsty Marvel fanfiction/art.
You may wonder, who are these people? Those were my thoughts when I first laid my eyes on this disaster. Further sleuthing lead me to the artist’s piece of fan fiction that went along with this illustration.
“Remy knocked on the bedroom door. Molly poked just her head out.”
Remy? This is supposed to be Gambit!? I’m sorry, but since when did Gambit have a misshapen bean for a head? Was he a victim of a tragic accident, that left not only his head in utter disrepair, but his hand a crippled nub of twisted fingers?
Speaking of that nub, I don’t blame him for punching this scantily clad woman. I would be full of rage too, if I repelled women with my disfigured appearance. If you can’t have them, beat them, amirite? But wait, maybe I am mistaken. Is this a full throttle beat down waiting to happen, or is this the gentle nudge from a lover? Let’s read, shall we.
“I know I look fat. Not that pretty either. It looked better on the model in the catalogue then it does on me…” She said.
“You’re beautiful no matter what, cherie,” he smiled. “…N-no. I’m not,” She continued not to look at him. “You _are_. It doesn’t matter what you wear or how you might look. To me you’d still be the prettiest girl in the room any day,” he said.
Sweet, he essentially called her fat in the most indirect way he could. Sure, you might be FAT and your clothes might look TERRIBLE, but you’re beautiful to me. Oh Remy, you charmer. Well, surely he’s getting laid.
After the kiss, Molly slowly shook her head with a giggle, “…Now get outta here.
It’s late. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Morning can’t come soon enough,” He winked as he left.
Um, what? All that subtle lying for nothing? For heaven’s sake, she even bought a nightie with him in mind!? AND NOTHING?! I can only assume, then, that Molly gets off by playing the hopeless low self esteem victim and then cock teasing Quasimodo look alikes that have super powers. What a bitch.
Wow. Just, wow. The art critic in me just can’t be held back on this one.
His shoulders look like some one put a bar through them.
Where the hell are his ears? Does he go by sonar?
How the hell were we supposed to know this was Gambit?
His face looks like it could eat that chicks face.
He’s got, like, orangutan arms.
The chick….well…she’s got square boobs…….yeah.
What on earth is going on with that square in the back? Is it a bed? Why is it levitating? Is it being possessed? Why don’t the misshapen lovers notice it?
Gambit’s right hand is like a huge death claw. Or a Lego man hand.
What is up with the light source in this thing? Shading is all over the place. It’s like there’s stage lights all over the place.
Really, I could go on.
I think that because he has black eyes and red pupils, the artist thought she had depicted Gambit fairly accurately. FAIL.
I laughed so much, pure awesome fail.