I digress.

So, I saw this deer boy eating chocolate, and I says to myself, “Why not? I like chocolate. Bambi was okay. I would like to see Bambi eat chocolate.” So,  I whipped out my debit card and made the purchase.

Much to my relief, it was not about cute half-animal half-humans eating chocolate. (Okay, I’ll admit, I would still have read the thing if it was and probably would have enjoyed it.) Instead, I was thrust into a post apocalyptic world, where a 9-year-old boy with antlers named Gus lives with his crazy, dying religious zealot of a father in The Forrest, isolated from the rest of the world. They drop hints here and there about some past tragic disaster. Of course, the father prefers not to talk about it entirely and would rather pray, drive the fear of God into Gus, and suffer from radiation poisoning.

Why the title Sweet Tooth? Well, Gus merrily walks toward the edge of The Forrest, where he is forbidden to go, and finds a lone candy bar, obviously separated from its pack. Because Gus’ father is too busy shoving God down his throat and dying to provide the most basic of lessons to his child, such as “don’t eat things that you find on the ground,” Gus eyes the bar suspiciously and eats it. He munches on the bar like his life depends on it, eyes rolling back in grotesque pleasure, invariably awakening a monster that lives within.

No, not really. He just really likes chocolate. And the bars keep popping up.

His father finds out about his secret chocolate fetish and goes ape shit. Spittle forms at his mouth as he spews about the dangers outside The Forrest, and before you know it he’s moaning and talking about God again. With his last breath he makes Gus promise to stay in The Forrest, and he succumbs to the radiation poisoning.

At this point, Gus is presented with an opportunity to seek salvation away from The Forrest. Torn between staying in The Forrest like his father has commanded or finding his way to a Promise Land for mutants, Gus has to make the toughest choice. Or you know, the one that will keep the story going. I’ll let you guess which one that is.

All in all, I was entertained. The world is well-crafted, and Gus is pretty endearing. Also there was some killing and weird mutant fetish whores. Things that would typically pique my interest for much longer, but I just wasn’t completely drawn into the story. Maybe because it’s just another basic run of the mill post-apocalyptic tale. I will eventually buy the second volume, and if it changes how I feel overall, I’ll let you know.

For now, Final Verdict: 2 Mad Maxes and a half of Bambi out of 5.

Too bad I’m lazy when it comes to preparing for holidays.

Flippin’ adorable.

As most of you familiar with the books know, HBO is in the process of making A Game of Thrones into a televised series, premiering on April 17th. George R. R. Martin posted on his livejournal a new video in the Artisan Series of the making of A Game of Thrones. This one is of Maisie Williams who plays Arya Stark.

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Maisie is the perfect Arya. I’m glad she will be doing my favorite character justice.

New Moon is the retarded version of Underworld.  Werewolves versus vampires; same old story but this time with teenage angst and romance. Jacob Black, newly blossomed werewolf, full of raging hormones must protect his beloved Bella from the evil bloodsucking monsters, aka the Cullens. Will he be able fend them off? It’s sure to be the most heart wrenching, devastating struggle of all time.

Or… will it?  Based on these pictures… Jacob is a sweetly retard man-child. All he’s missing is a bit of drool coming out of his mouth. I don’t think he would stand a chance against the Cullens with their chiseled jaw lines, cleft chins, quirky eyebrows, and icy soulless glares. This family is a Frankenstein Calvin Klein ad. Poor Jacob doesn’t stand a chance. If he isn’t blinded by their sparkling, he’ll surely suffocate from their cologne, aka “eau du vampire”; that is, if he doesn’t choke on his slobber first.

I am the ultimate Harvest Moon fan girl, and I cannot wait for Animal Parade (Wii) and Sunshine Islands (DS) to be released on November 10th. If you pre-order these copies, which I plan on doing this week, you will receive a plush duck for Animal Parade and a plush pig for Sunshine Islands.

In the Animal Parade edition, five elemental bells are missing, causing the wind to cease blowing and crops to fail. It’s up to you to find the five bells and awaken the Harvest King so he can save the village. While you search for these bells, you can spend your time fishing, cultivating crops, mining, and raising exotic new animals! I thought being able to raise ostriches and silk worms in Tree of Tranquility (Wii) was awesome, but in Animal Parade you get to raise monkeys, penguins, and  pandas! In addition to taking care of them, you can teach them tricks and then show them off while you parade them around town.

In Sunshine Islands, you reunite with characters from Island of Happiness (DS). The Sunshine Islands sank a long time ago from a large earthquake, and it is up to you to find the magical Sun Stones and raise the sunken islands. You will harvest new crops and befriend animals such as ducks, monkeys, and badgers. There will be new characters, new festivals to compete in, and new mini games in which to train your pets.

The focus in Animal Parade seems to be on the animals, of course. This will be a new and refreshing aspect that I have always wanted. However, Sunshine Islands seems to be an expansion on the previous DS game, which is not necessarily a bad thing. In any case, I am happy for new and improved Harvest Moon titles.  They have come a long way from being just a farming RPG.

Read the press release for Harvest Moon: Animal Parade here.

Read the press release for Harvest Moon: Sunshine Islands here.

With my meager free time, I scoured etsy for something cool to share. Lo and behold, a clock worthy to grace any geek’s desk.

Pretty sweet, right? SaltyandSweet have a wide variety of other mobiles, including a TF2 mobile, as well.

Today’s art fail exposes sad fangirl artwork of Repo! the Genetic Opera. If you don’t know what Repo is, well, then maybe you’re not an 8th grade goth girl or … Dylan.

Let’s get started, shall we?

I would like to introduce you to Blind Mag. This is what she looks like in the movie:

Now, look what these two artists came up with:

Umm…

Auuuugh. The first picture is only what I can describe as a disembodied head of a whore charging her eye beams. While the second picture has made an attempt to draw a torso, it is FAIL. Her tits are trying to take refuge under her armpits. I don’t even want to talk about her skeleton face.

Oh, yeah, did I mention that Paris Hilton is in this movie? Here she is as Amber Sweet, trying to be popular.

She’s addicted to surgery, and because of being under the knife so many times, her face is falling off. This artist…oh man, this artist…just look:

A fresh, hot pizza was thrown into the face of a chef causing 3rd degree burns.

Great job, guys. Keep up the great work.

]]> http://geekspective.com/3926/art-fail-fr-um-saturday/feed/ 9 http://geekspective.com/3873/craft-of-the-day-23/ http://geekspective.com/3873/craft-of-the-day-23/#comments Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:20:43 +0000 Amber Pulley http://geekspective.com/?p=3873 Below is a handmade ceramic pendant featuring a handpainted microscope. I must say, this is pretty sweet. Made by surly on etsy where you can find more of their unique pendants, like this flying spaghetti monster one.

In response to Halo 3: ODST‘s release, I give to you the collection of fail I have gathered this week. I had a hard time finding things that were absolute fail, as many who are art-challenged won’t even attempt to draw something as difficult as ODST armor. However, some people are relentless.

My not so bad first discovery. An ODST staring at the sky looking for answers. Where am I? What happened? Where is everyone? Why am I guarding these giant yams?

My first thought about my second discovery was, “Super Saiyan Goku wearing a beanie, surprised at being struck in the head with a blue dragon ball.

Actual description: The artist in ODST armor getting stuck with a plasma grenade.

On top of the lame concept (why depict yourself failing?), the artist is using 1st grade art techniques. Ball point pen outline? Check. Sloppy ass coloring (what, you STILL can’t stay inside the lines)? Check. Basic geometric shapes? Check. His head is reminiscent of the ice cream cones I drew as a kid. You know, the triangle with the semi-circle on top? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.

His expression is what kills me the most. His mouth agape, one eye opened wider than the other, shoulders drawn up to his ears… er, well, where his ears should be, anyway. His expression says  ”UH-OH”, as if his mom just caught him looking at porn. Comical, yes. Fitting for knowing that in less than 3 seconds, your head will be obliterated, no.

Ahhh, now for the 3rd and final installment.

If this wasn’t labeled as an ODST so much, I would have thought it was Samus Aran wearing a neck brace.

Not sure if there is much more I can say about this one. It seems the UNSC will recruit anyone, including rectilinear giraffes with completely round heads who are forgetful of their role in life. ”I’m a what? An ODST? Oh, okay. Yeah, it’s written on my chest. I forgot.”

]]> http://geekspective.com/3799/art-fail-friday-5/feed/ 2 http://geekspective.com/3686/craft-of-the-day-21/ http://geekspective.com/3686/craft-of-the-day-21/#comments Mon, 21 Sep 2009 16:00:24 +0000 Amber Pulley http://geekspective.com/?p=3686 Send greetings the geek way with these notecards.

Each print is slightly different making it a unique set of stationery.