It’s time for our mages to put their mana where their mouths are. It’s time to enter…THE COMBAT PHASE. That’s right, it’s the beginning of a new regular segment, where Amber and Kenny will duke it out on the planes of battle. Only one can emerge victorious to claim bragging rights for the week. Today we’re doing a Winston Cube Draft, which is a really fun way to draft when you only have two players. Press play to learn how it works, and to see who will emerge from…THE COMBAT PHASE…combat phase…combat phase…
Babou sings a lullaby for the nimbwisp sheep and the party finishes up their job at Rainy Ranch. After receiving their badge for Rainy Ranch, they head to Cafegg for dinner.
Amber and Kenny kick things off today with a very unintuitive (but very interesting) Pick a Card prompt—what are your favorite (nonlegendary) creatures (that don’t share a creature type)? Would it shock you to learn that a GOBLIN made it onto Amber’s list? Would you be aghast to discover one of Kenny’s functions as a COUNTERSPELL? Haven’t had enough impossible revelations? How about learning the burning secrets of the multiverse? How about learning why Nicol Bolas would want to unleash MULTIVERSE-ENDING THREATS from their prison? How about learning why Amber finds this all hilarious? Is that good for you???
Modern Horizons is just over the…horizon. Eh. But it’s exciting! For everyone except Amber, that is, who is literally foaming at the mouth with anger. What is she angry about? It’s not at all clear! But we’re bound and determined to get to the bottom of it, and in the process, we just may discover that one of Magic’s most beloved characters is in fact a narcissistic psychopath hellbent on the protection of their own ego at the cost of any number of sentient beings they’ve willed into existence. Or maybe it’s fine!
Concerned about Rhonda, the party heads to Rhapsody Roads to turn in their job and gather information. Colleen flexes her rouge-like muscles while Mr. Becky Ann is his boisterous self. Don’t forget! His birthday is soon!
Jeeeeeeesus Christ we go off the deep end on this episode. In a new segment, Construction Zone, the mages try their hand at some “collaborative” deckbuilding, which is really just Amber talking about her (rad as hell) Goblin Angel deck, cackling madly at Kenny’s suggestions for other possible card inclusions while shaking her head no. Future episodes featuring the segment will include listener suggestions for decks to build as well as submissions of decklists. That’s right—you too can have your dreams laughed at by Amber! (You’re not alone.)
Extra Turns are short and sweet bonus episodes, usually with our quick takes on news in the Magic world. Today, though, is something even MORE special. We’re debuting a new ongoing segment, Fanfic Theater, where Amber writes her own vignettes of magic stories and characters that she knows virtually nothing about. Yes, this means inevitably Kenny will be made to sit through some sort of Sorin/Tibalt slash fiction. All in due time!
For only the third time ever, Kenny and Amber battled head to head in combat through the medium of Magic the Gathering and you’ll never guess who came out on top (not really spoilers but it was Kenny duh of course). After we recap some thrilling cubic action, Amber weaves the twisting, sordid tale of pretty much the most hated character in Magic’s history, Tibalt the Devilmans. She tells us why he’s dumb, and why that makes him kind of sweet, actually. And then, ON A WHIM, we try our hand at designing a better version of the world’s stinkiest planeswalker.
For 25,000 years, Nicol Bolas has plotted to claim true omnipotence, and it feels like we’ve been waiting for spoiler season for just as long. Amber is foaming mad once again, but even she can’t deny how hype all this shit is. There’s even a new Tibalt to carry on the mantle of mediocrity! We’re talking new mechanics, spoilers, and first takes on War of the Spark!
The rain follows the party back to Cafegg where they must now squish the scranberries they harvested.Thistle is played by Kat. You can find Kat on twitter @kazzbotz. She’s the DM on Dames & Dragons. Thanks for playing Kat!