Kristin is joined by Amber and Sarah to discuss horny teens, clueless parents, and hair.This episode mentions suicide and self-harm.Wait a bit! If you are struggling, know that you do not have to go through it alone. Please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (or text HOME to 741741) right away and allow a professional to talk you through it.
This week is jam fucking packed people. I mean it. We start picking cards at like the two minute mark because we have so much shit to discuss. We’re debuting a brand new segment, wherein we discuss everyone’s favorite instant that costs UU. Is it good for the game? Is it an unholy abomination that will cost you friends, careers, and the sweet taste of a life well lived? Guess you’ll just have to tune in to find out won’t you ;))))))
There can literally be no better distillation of the differences in Amber and Kenny’s playstyles than this discussion about what are the best keywords in Magic the Gathering. We stay super on brand this episode, cranking out classic Red and Blue bullshit from beginning to end. Kenny extends an olive branch of understanding towards Amber’s picks; Amber almost falls asleep listening to Kenny’s. I’m counting on you to appreciate me, Sweet Sweet Listener. You’re looking fit today, you know that?
Change is a-comin’. The so-called “London Mulligan” is an experimental new mulligan rule that will be tested at the Mythic Championship, April 26-28. The last time they did this, we wound up with the scry mulligan, which has honestly been pretty sweet. So will this new rule build upon the success of the scry mulligan? Or will it plunge Magic into anarchy and irrevocably destroy the game forever? (Hint: not the second one.)
The party made their way to the Scranberry patch unscathed but will they make it out okay? While they harvest the berries, Colleen notices some familiar tracks…
Dive oh so deep into the rich deposits of lore nestled in the crevices of Magic the Gathering. The ongoing saga of the brave and noble elder dragon Nicol Bolas and the vagabonds and pretenders trying to stop his inevitable rise to power have never been elucidated so clearly. Amber discusses her big problem with the lore of planeswalkers and explores other ways that a planeswalker might “ignite” their “‘spark.’” If you know what I mean.
We’re debuting a special, ongoing series of episodes we’re calling Extra Turns—quick takes on current news in the Magic world. Today we’re talking about big recent news about the upcoming set, War of the Spark, which will contain THIRTY-SIX OPLAENSMAENS (read: planeswalkers). Thirty-six! Amber and Kenny speculate on what these planeswalkers could possibly be like, what this will mean for the story, and how in the world Wizards of the Coast will manage this enormous design challenge.
This week Amber gives us a very hard homework assignment—what’s your favorite card from an art perspective? Our brains slowly turn to jelly as we waffle over our decisions, break down, and eventually give a list of about 28 cards each. Eventually we discover that we like art that isn’t art and in fact is just abstract patterns on a drab, colorless background. Just like our lives.
Thistle helps the party get their first badges and agrees to help them get more! They head over to Cafegg and are asked to gather Scranberries. With 2 carts in tow and a bad map, they leave town to find their way to the Scranberry patch.