Coming fresh off a sweet and savory deckbuilding brainstorm sesh, our heroes are ready to dive back into battle, squaring off with new commander decks. In this corner, a literal trash goblin Charles Xavier looking motherfucker who’s ready to scrap (in more senses than one!)—DARRRRRRRRETTI! And in the other corner, half T-Rex, half gelatinous cube, and 100% gonna steal yo girl and yo graveyard—THE MIMEOPLASM! You bought the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge!
There was no darker or more evil creation in all the multiverse than that of the overburdened SD card. We lost half of this episode to the void, but have no fear! Amber and I don our acting caps and put the collective casts of GoT and the entire MCU to shame with our genuine human reactions. Then we’re on to a big old debate talking about the Magic logo. One of us hates it, and one of us doesn’t mind—care to guess where we land?
It’s time once again to enter the Combat Phase. This time, Amber and Kenny go head to head in a game of commander, and you probably won’t believe the commander that Amber has selected for herself. A cosmic battle ensues, featuring +1/+1 counters, golems, rhinos, Shania Twain, Twizzlers, and more shuffling that you can rightly imagine.
Woo! It’s been a minute since we last caught up on the Magic that we’ve been playing, and there’s a lot to discuss. Kenny’s been playing loads of Cube, Commander, and even Planechase(!). Amber has been playing some Commander herself, and speaking of that, we’re workshopping her first ever Commander deck on today’s episode! We’re taking the Built From Scratch preconstructed deck as a foundation and building it up from there. Tune in for our spicy modifications to the deck, and to hear Amber geek out about artifacts hehehehe
It’s time for our mages to put their mana where their mouths are. It’s time to enter…THE COMBAT PHASE. That’s right, it’s the beginning of a new regular segment, where Amber and Kenny will duke it out on the planes of battle. Only one can emerge victorious to claim bragging rights for the week. Today we’re doing a Winston Cube Draft, which is a really fun way to draft when you only have two players. Press play to learn how it works, and to see who will emerge from…THE COMBAT PHASE…combat phase…combat phase…
Amber and Kenny kick things off today with a very unintuitive (but very interesting) Pick a Card prompt—what are your favorite (nonlegendary) creatures (that don’t share a creature type)? Would it shock you to learn that a GOBLIN made it onto Amber’s list? Would you be aghast to discover one of Kenny’s functions as a COUNTERSPELL? Haven’t had enough impossible revelations? How about learning the burning secrets of the multiverse? How about learning why Nicol Bolas would want to unleash MULTIVERSE-ENDING THREATS from their prison? How about learning why Amber finds this all hilarious? Is that good for you???
Modern Horizons is just over the…horizon. Eh. But it’s exciting! For everyone except Amber, that is, who is literally foaming at the mouth with anger. What is she angry about? It’s not at all clear! But we’re bound and determined to get to the bottom of it, and in the process, we just may discover that one of Magic’s most beloved characters is in fact a narcissistic psychopath hellbent on the protection of their own ego at the cost of any number of sentient beings they’ve willed into existence. Or maybe it’s fine!
Jeeeeeeesus Christ we go off the deep end on this episode. In a new segment, Construction Zone, the mages try their hand at some “collaborative” deckbuilding, which is really just Amber talking about her (rad as hell) Goblin Angel deck, cackling madly at Kenny’s suggestions for other possible card inclusions while shaking her head no. Future episodes featuring the segment will include listener suggestions for decks to build as well as submissions of decklists. That’s right—you too can have your dreams laughed at by Amber! (You’re not alone.)
Extra Turns are short and sweet bonus episodes, usually with our quick takes on news in the Magic world. Today, though, is something even MORE special. We’re debuting a new ongoing segment, Fanfic Theater, where Amber writes her own vignettes of magic stories and characters that she knows virtually nothing about. Yes, this means inevitably Kenny will be made to sit through some sort of Sorin/Tibalt slash fiction. All in due time!