Woo! It’s been a minute since we last caught up on the Magic that we’ve been playing, and there’s a lot to discuss. Kenny’s been playing loads of Cube, Commander, and even Planechase(!). Amber has been playing some Commander herself, and speaking of that, we’re workshopping her first ever Commander deck on today’s episode! We’re taking the Built From Scratch preconstructed deck as a foundation and building it up from there. Tune in for our spicy modifications to the deck, and to hear Amber geek out about artifacts hehehehe

It’s time for our mages to put their mana where their mouths are. It’s time to enter…THE COMBAT PHASE. That’s right, it’s the beginning of a new regular segment, where Amber and Kenny will duke it out on the planes of battle. Only one can emerge victorious to claim bragging rights for the week. Today we’re doing a Winston Cube Draft, which is a really fun way to draft when you only have two players. Press play to learn how it works, and to see who will emerge from…THE COMBAT PHASE…combat phase…combat phase…

Amber and Kenny kick things off today with a very unintuitive (but very interesting) Pick a Card prompt—what are your favorite (nonlegendary) creatures (that don’t share a creature type)? Would it shock you to learn that a GOBLIN made it onto Amber’s list? Would you be aghast to discover one of Kenny’s functions as a COUNTERSPELL? Haven’t had enough impossible revelations? How about learning the burning secrets of the multiverse? How about learning why Nicol Bolas would want to unleash MULTIVERSE-ENDING THREATS from their prison? How about learning why Amber finds this all hilarious? Is that good for you???

Modern Horizons is just over the…horizon. Eh. But it’s exciting! For everyone except Amber, that is, who is literally foaming at the mouth with anger. What is she angry about? It’s not at all clear! But we’re bound and determined to get to the bottom of it, and in the process, we just may discover that one of Magic’s most beloved characters is in fact a narcissistic psychopath hellbent on the protection of their own ego at the cost of any number of sentient beings they’ve willed into existence. Or maybe it’s fine!

Jeeeeeeesus Christ we go off the deep end on this episode. In a new segment, Construction Zone, the mages try their hand at some “collaborative” deckbuilding, which is really just Amber talking about her (rad as hell) Goblin Angel deck, cackling madly at Kenny’s suggestions for other possible card inclusions while shaking her head no. Future episodes featuring the segment will include listener suggestions for decks to build as well as submissions of decklists. That’s right—you too can have your dreams laughed at by Amber! (You’re not alone.)

For only the third time ever, Kenny and Amber battled head to head in combat through the medium of Magic the Gathering and you’ll never guess who came out on top (not really spoilers but it was Kenny duh of course). After we recap some thrilling cubic action, Amber weaves the twisting, sordid tale of pretty much the most hated character in Magic’s history, Tibalt the Devilmans. She tells us why he’s dumb, and why that makes him kind of sweet, actually. And then, ON A WHIM, we try our hand at designing a better version of the world’s stinkiest planeswalker.

This week is jam fucking packed people. I mean it. We start picking cards at like the two minute mark because we have so much shit to discuss. We’re debuting a brand new segment, wherein we discuss everyone’s favorite instant that costs UU. Is it good for the game? Is it an unholy abomination that will cost you friends, careers, and the sweet taste of a life well lived? Guess you’ll just have to tune in to find out won’t you ;))))))

There can literally be no better distillation of the differences in Amber and Kenny’s playstyles than this discussion about what are the best keywords in Magic the Gathering. We stay super on brand this episode, cranking out classic Red and Blue bullshit from beginning to end. Kenny extends an olive branch of understanding towards Amber’s picks; Amber almost falls asleep listening to Kenny’s. I’m counting on you to appreciate me, Sweet Sweet Listener. You’re looking fit today, you know that?